Woah. Wednesday? Already? What happened to Tuesday and Monday and New Years and Christmas? Goodness me. It's close to 11pm and leaving my blog to the last hour wasn't a grand idea but I actually didn't have time to do it earlier. I woke up at 6:30 (go me!) and ran at the gym, relaxed a little and drove to Mount Pleasant. Driving on 20 is a rather boring drive but the singing time is spectacular. I spent time at thePlate Boutique from 10-7 actually and realized how hungry I was for dinner when I got home. Luckily, I had things on hand that I could whip together (not to mention left overs sent with me from home from my mama) and I finally sat down and hid my phone, kept the computer away and watched Big Bang Theory on dvd. I may be having "TV dinners." But at least my dinners are home cooked and fresh and healthy. After just a episode of relaxation it was go mode for finishing my clinical binder, my staff relief binder and the miscellaneous things that go in between. Blah. Aside from all of that today presented a challenge to me that I was well prepared for but still feel guilty about. I "pray" at night time and I put that in quotes because so many people count "praying" as a solely religious act and my prayers are not. They're not to a God in particular they're just prayers of strength and guidance for individuals I care deeply for. Family, friends, beloved pets, events, people, my cat...I go through a small faith like pattern at night where I relax my mind so to try and avoid a recurring nightmare that seems to want to stay, and to close the day with one last ounce of strength, courage, grace, and perseverance. I would like to explain more but I'm tired with thoughts and work and guilt. I don't like guilt. Slightly discouraged but sure on faith and the desire to fight and continue trying with everything and anything and beyond, J.
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