“I don't want to stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or love or happy endings.” “most people lose the ability to see silver linings or even though they are always there above us.” “I believe in happy endings," I tell him, "And it feels like this movie has gone on for the right amount of time.” I want to see the movie Silver Linings Playbook so badly. If you, readers, see it out or know exactly and precisely when I can see it please do me the honor and let me know. Today was my second to last Monday at MidMich Hospital. I'm really getting tired of the repetition but my Nutrition Care Plan (a homework assignment) patient is really interesting. Today I was also looking for some new information on a patient so I looked in the paper charts (which are still there but almost everything gets in the electronic medical records now. I opened up to folder to the progress note section to find two pictures of stage four decubitis wounds. There was a nurse near me and she said oh you've probably not seen pictures like that huh? I think I did throw up in my mouth a little. I felt uneasy after that, normally pictures and wounds don't make me too uneasy but that was too much. However, an integral part of healing said wounds is getting enough calories but more importantly protein in. I met with the patient and discussed his options, etc etc. It's not fair that the patient and others too who have those wound have them, because they come from being sedentary for prolonged periods of time. Now, I can't speak for everyone but some people become sedentary because their obesity is killing them, literally. I find this all really fascinating and I'm looking forward to hearing Aby's presentation about wound healing because it's more common of a problem than it has been in the past. Like I said, sometimes it's about preventing the almost inevitable and other times it's completely preventable. I tried to think about that on my run today, "Don't ever stop being active, you will always use your body as much as you can!" Yeah that was a nice thought until my run went right down the drain as I tripped on some snow that was much crunchier than I anticipated. I went down and landed on my left shoulder which hurt but I was so cold that it wasn't too bad. I got up and brushed the snow off, assured the now slowing down car that I was okay with a nod and a smile even if I had a few tears that broke through and kept going. It was just supposed to be a four mile run, it was not intimidating to me. The thoughts I began to feel were as follows: Ouch, I am fucking freezing, my stomach hurts so bad, just keep going just keep going, it's the eye of the tiger don't give up! Rocky never gave up!, where the hell is the silver lining here, this is icy, I need to slow down more, my head is sweating and now that I'm slow it's cold, my stomach hurts bad, I think I'm going to vomit, my music is nice, omg I have .3 miles left. Yes, those were my thoughts. Now that I can feel my body again and I'm comfortably cozy underneath three blankets and layers of clothes, I sip my coffee and water and my muscles are tightening as we speak. I had to choke down food because my stomach offered no support to it post run. I don't have energy at the moment and I want more hot beverages. Here is one moment where I wish someone else was here because my Cat can't make me tea. That's alright, I'll finish this and suck it up. The bonus for my run that I couldn't wait for earlier this morning? It, like my other runs, blocks my mind from thinking about anything. It's my chance to shut off and use my body. I can't even try to think about anything because I can't focus on it. I think it's my body and minds way of granting me a free pass to turning off. There you have it folks, the answer. I need that tea now, more water, probably more food, more blankets, and soon sleep. Beat up from the run and proud to push myself, J.
No comments:
Post a Comment