Phew. What a drive home that was. Today is day two at thePlate Boutique and I must say how much I love the atmosphere and am enjoying the new experiences. One of the RDs from MidMich emailed me recently because she wasn't around for my last week there. She wanted me to know how hard working I was and how much I grew etc, etc. It's very nice to get that reassurance and to be complimented. That doesn't sound vain does it? Oh well. I discussed "reassurance" with a dear friend of mine recently and it just makes you feel grounded. It's a good feeling. Some people and close friends are telling me a similar thing and I believe them but then I get back to my apartment and think, yeah but what do I do? The answer is nothing. The elephants in the room are shoved to the corner or chilling on my balcony and for right now there's just nothing I can do. I wrote a product review today which I enjoyed and I'm going to start writing future articles, tweets, statuses etc for when I can start my own blog as an RD. I originally thought I would go that direction beginning this one but I don't feel legit giving out info just yet. Let me pass that RD exam and then I'll be advertising and marketing my new blog. There are some new job ideas lighting up in my eyes that I'm starting to think would be great to pursue, private practice is among them and I think it would be a great fit for me. My little back burner thought though is how, well, okay so I'm looking through articles about blogging, marketing, internet savy-ness, being technologically with it and while I feel I'm up to date I'm not perfectly savvy. No one is perfect but this is an area I'd like to work on. Yada yada though so I haven't purchased groceries yet this week, I got to spend time with Rachell today after work which was great (: $1 margaritas and yummy food is always good and junking/thrifting is fun too! I drove through awful fog, lightening, thunder and pouring rain (also some mild hydroplaning which was nerve wracking). I worked out with virtual (dvd) Jillian Michaels and am calling it a night here soon. I have running to do in the morning, an easy three miles and work and hang outs and hopefully a little grocery shopping and finishing/wrapping up my clinical binder. In this moment I feel like, WOAH I have a lot of little things to accomplish in the next day and a half...it'll all get done though and it will work out. After my work out I stood outside when I went to grab my mail. I let the rain pour around me and I looked up letting the droplets splash around my face. I opened my palms in acceptance and had one of those moments I crave. The moments when I'm just alive and I'm just "being" and there is nothing else in that moment that I need to do. It's like standing by the water, it's like listening to someone's heart beat, it's like watching the storm and praying for peace, it's like standing still in the midst of chaos with a storm approaching but you're grounded and steady. I'm never sure how to leave those moments. I don't like to leave them because they quiet my mind. Alas, I left it and walked up the three flights, sat with my kitty for her daily dose of snuggles since she tends to miss me during the day and am writing to you all as she purrs on my lap. I hope you all have those moments, if not I encourage you to try and get out of your body and have them. Feel them. It's okay to feel, it's okay to be afraid and to have blind hope. It's okay to fight as long and as hard as you want to. Fighting, J.
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