Ch4:Pg14: Drool.

Second to last Thursday here...I can see the light! I can also see the doctors light looking at my mouth this evening. The sores are now irritating the bottom of my mouth underneath my tongue, the underbelly tongue has white splotches, my gums hurt, I have a headache, my stomach is upset, I thought at one point I was going to need to sit down today while I was charting on a patient. I got short of breath and my mom always told me as a little girl I held my breath sometimes...but this is just annoying. So off to the doctor I went. A viral infection of some sort is consuming my mouth. He's not sure what so cultures were sent off and I hope to have an antibiotic tomorrow. He gave me a "swish" to numb and apply some medicine to the sores. My mouth and tongue and lips are so numb I'm drooling like a bafoon. No joke. Sorry you get no pics tonight. Moving on. I woke up last night at 12:30am when the central alert system called me. I fell back asleep with worry but I am glad how they wrote the story about the incident and how she was smart. Not to say (AT ALL) that people who could have been in the same situation and didn't survive are not smart it's not about that. My dad taught me how to get out of holds and where to kick an attacker, I carry pepper spray with me, did this young woman? If she didn't that's alright but I'd like to see more education and awareness about self defense. It is about change and it is about hope that the world will get better but let's face it, "crazy" people and those who will hurt others are always going to be there. There are different changes maybe that can occur to lessen. The bad guys aren't going anywhere, be as prepared as you can and sometimes the ones who fight won't win and there is no perfect answer to every attack/situation. Believe me, I've lost before. Just something on my mind. Moving on. If you haven't read The Fault in our Stars, please pick it up and read it. It's a beautiful tragic story and there's love, there's loss, there's life and the little things that we all miss and adore. I've been thinking and trying to figure out what I want to do in the future. I love the idea of writing for magazines, newspapers, consulting for individuals in a community, owning my own business...this has been a dream as of late. I still love working with children, I don't mind clinical work, I like outpatient things, and I still want to dance haha. My options aren't limited, nobody's are. I just am thinking of the "now" feeling and how I'd like to own my own company sometime. Kelsey suggested I read some books about human habits and psychology which I'm looking forward to. To close.. This morning at the hospital the Big Bang Theory was the theme.. that and feeling like we were in a giant snow globe and me feeling sick. Off I go to sleep, remain numbed by mouth and wake early to run. I think this medicine also just made me a little loopy. Oh what a sight I'm sure I am. Infinities and always's, J