Ch6:Pg2: I really need this.

I actually started my public health rotation today and I like it more than I thought I would. I didn't really know what all to expect but I love working with kids so it's no surprise that I enjoyed my time with Rachael today. I drove in to Mount Pleasant at a much earlier time than I'm used to and then we headed to Holton Lake. I slept like poop and have kind of felt like poop today too. My sleep schedules keep changing with each new rotation which makes it challenging to keep a routine. I'm alright with the changes and the rotations themselves aren't "difficult" it's just the constant change we have to keep up with. My mouth sores, well they just suck. I got blood drawn today and got way too woozy afterwards. I just needed to collapse on my bed after I was finally home and just lay there for a beat. Just breathe and relax and try to stretch and make the cramps happening in my uterus turn down a couple notches. I know the roads are getting worse so I'm wondering what tomorrow will bring. Schmitty is very comfortable laying on the heat pad I have on me and I'm afraid to move because she's so peaceful. I loved holding and playing with the puppies back home and can't wait to see them again. Working with WIC and MIHP today made me realize more about who I am as a 22 year old compared to other women of 22. That's not a good or bad thing I'm just finding more about myself each day. It also made think about my future and the children I hope to bring into this world. I'm going to be a mom someday and I can't (and can) wait. As I've said / quoted before, "I didn't always know where I was going but I knew the woman I wanted to be." I'm still figuring out who she is going to become but I know the woman and am confidant about the woman I am choosing to be. I've also said this, "you have to choose to keep on living." You also can't run from the things you've done. You need to face them, so face it. On that note I need to sleep, sleep and sleep some more. I'm over this headache, the cramps, the sores and while i wish someone else could come do my dishes or make me food or just be with me when I'm feeling so shitty at least I am choosing to keep going and try. I have to keep going because life isn't always going to be nor is it ever truly "easy" and you have to choose to be tough. What more can you ask of me? What more are you willing to take away? Try me, J.