Picture credit from Postsecret. "Man these times are hard." I'm quiet in my apartment with a little music playing, my voice singing and humming along. I've prepared my vegetables for the week that needed cutting and bagging and peeling and prepping. I cleaned as much as I felt was necessary for the day and decided to leave my room for tomorrow. There's a tin box that sits in the middle of the room because I just need it to be there today. The more I look around my apartment the more I can't wait to get a new one. My apartment is great and it's very spacious and I'm entirely grateful for it. More or less, I look forward to being more financially independent so that I can afford most things on my own. I ventured to BayCity last night for a night with Aby and two of her friends from Akron, Ohio. We had a really good time at the Stein Haus which was surprisingly packed and many people stared at us. I haven't laughed as hard as I did about Aby's floppy disk story in what feels like a while even if maybe it hasn't been that long. We nommed some candy, sang (well I listened) the Menards (yes the store) theme song over and over. They found it hilarious and I found it hilarious that they found it hilarious. Overall, we were up till 3 and I slept better than I have in a long time. A delicious brunch at Heather's took us downtown BayCity and we did some antique browsing as well. I hid a book that I really wanted to get at the place that only took cash/checks. I hope to go back and get it soon. There has been a lot of confusion for me in the last 24-72 hours. More than usual mind you and that's either not saying much or saying a lot. See? Confusion. I'm reading an all too familiar book that I have read at least 4 times already. I've found that when I'm in a moment of confusion, exhaustion, loss or whatever feeling makes me want to just walk without purpose..the book's voice, story, and emotions comforts me more than many other things have been able to do. My 9 mile run...I didn't get to write yesterday or rather I chose not to but here were a few thoughts (remember I was on a treadmill). 6:15am, alright get up and get ready for the gym, gatorade, check, water, check, cliffshot gels, check., Headphones (from the dollarstore...Iknow) were ready and the desk worker greeted me nicely. I didn't waste time and I hopped on the treadmill and was thankful for HIMYM to be on repeat though I never really liked that show much. It entertained me though for 9 miles (1 hour and 45 minutes) so I'm thankful for it. More thoughts, "I can see myself in the mirror, do my boobs still bounce?! I'm wearing 2 sports bras for god's sake, Mmm gatorade is actually alright, why did I wear pants?, 5 miles down I'm over half way..., 1 mile left..., 1/2 a mile left and I sped up despite the ache in my legs and especially my knees because I was ready to get off., Text from Aby "Why don't you do something with your life." I laughed pretty hard which must have sounded silly given I had just ran for an hour and fourty five minutes and the same desk worker was there waiting to talk to me when I was heading for the door., Muscle Milk is my salvatiON!! CHUG CHUG CHUG. Okay, so I felt pretty good after that milage though my hips are definitely paying the price now. No time for too much rest as I have 5 miles to run tomorrow. I decided to try some new things from the grocery store today and since my vegetables are prepared I need to go prepare my lunches for the week. I bought goat cheese, some wine that I've become fond of every now and then and other various groceries. I also bought a bouquet of flowers that now sit center on my table in my designated flower holding mason jar. They keep hope in my view and they help keep my apartment pretty. Hope, the only thing stronger than fear. To close for the night, "But we always, yes we always, we always have fun. Yes we always, yes we always, we always have fun. Why would you live anywhere else?" Yes, to answer a question, it's on the front burners of my mind. Standing faithfully, J
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