"You have to do everything you can, you have to work your hardest, and if you do, if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining." Sometimes music is my power source when it comes to my long runs on Saturdays. 8.4 miles today readers...I'm impressed by myself because I always thought, "Oh yeah, one day I'll run a half marathon, goal in the next like five or ten years." No. I'm changing that, oh one day I'll do this, mantra by going for the things that I want to achieve. I still have struggles we all will, but it's not going to stop me from getting through the training. I want to share with you what was going through my mind sporatically during my long run: This running belt isn't too uncomfortable, I hate these headphones, songs of hope make me brave, maybe running with potential stomach flu wasn't the best idea, what was the point of carrying my water on my belt if it was going to freeze, oh good the gatorade isn't frozen, the other half of my banana (I ate half before my run) is going to fuel me?, how slow was I going geeze look at the time, time to pick up my pace, I'm scared, my neck hurts from my frozen hankerchief, thank goodness I put vaseline on my lips and around my nose, my nipples hurt, are those spots I'm seeing or is it mascara?...Thoughts post run: my nipples hurt, my finger nails are a little purple, these red patches all over my body itch, I'm freezing, (I sat down on the couch and wrapped myself in a blanket) *tries to stand up* CRASH. To the ground my knees were in so much pain I felt like the Tinman., why is my knee cap dark?, 8.4 miles...., my shower can't get hot enough right now, Muscle Milk just saved me, I still feel sick. ---So readers, I hope you got a chuckle out of some of my thoughts. Did any spark any thoughts for you? How about the "I'm Scared?" What was I scared about? There were a few things, one was the pain in my knee joints, it scares me to have pain and I get a bit of anxiety about it. I'm scared I am following my heart and it could lead me in the wrong direction. I'm scared that I keep switching plans for the future about possible jobs. I'm scared that I won't be the nutrition expert I'm learning to be. I'm scared that I'll fight and it won't be worth it in the end. "I have fear," I thought during my run because it's a simple human feeling that seemed to captivate me for a stretch of the run. However, it doesn't scare me to be scared. I don't think people think often enough about what honestly scares them. Try the writing prompt, "I don't want to write about _______." For me it helps list some of my deepest and truest feelings. Give it a shot and don't be afraid of your fears. I just finished watching Forks over Knives, I think I'll save my opinions and thoughts on that for tomorrow, I jotted down some notes but I want it to soak in and get under my skin a little more. It's definitely worth your time to watch it and visit their website. From their site (or I should say from a Pin that Kelsey pinned to her wall) I printed out their pumpkin hummus recipe. It's delicious and I'm glad I felt strong enough after my run to make it because despite eating well after the run and drinking my muscle milk (thank you Kels for the reminder) I really wish someone else had been here today to make food for me. First world problems, I know. But I don't feel well and I have stress that comes in spurts and worries, fears, hopes, dreams and everything in between that I would like to share with you again. I try to keep busy and on a day like today busy was napping, reading, eating, watching Big Bang Theory, finishing some photos of my sister and her fiance (: and pinning (of course). It's closing in on midnight now, followers, and while I feel I could write on tonight I should just leave with the plop of a cherry on top. “Some things are destined to be -- it just takes us a couple of tries
to get there.” Nauseous, J.
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