Ch5:Pg6: Can we dance?

Monday. I slept awfully and woke up many times throughout the night only to find it harder to fall asleep each time I woke up. I gave up around 7 and got ready to run a five mile loop. I was proud of the time (52 minutes) as I didn't think I was running that quickly and I probably looked like I was melting/dying the majority of the time because well that's just how my face looked. I got to relax a bit this morning after the run and eventually packed up and headed to Mount Pleasant. Worked on a new product review and learned some more about the internet and it's behind the scenes businesses. I'm starting to brainstorm ideas for my blog when I become an RD. I want to make sure I'm ready to commit to one because once I start I feel it would be a shame to quit. By that I mean I would feel ashamed. I'll share my brainstorms when they're ready to be shared. I grocery shopped but didn't need much. I made an avocado paste with olive oil and garlic and used that as dressing for my spinach pasta noodles. It was pretty tasty and I've not done very much with avocados and I'm trying to try something new each week. I keep looking at rutabagas and think that they will be next on my list of things to try. I struggled today coming back to my quiet apartment, really craving to just have somebody here with me to sit in person and talk with, laugh with, talk with. I repeat talk because I'm in a let's talk about everything and anything mood. I texted with Rachell a bit who sadly was seeing Urgent care again (WAY TOO OFTEN) and I'm praying she doesn't have any torn ligaments. I can't wish that upon anyone and in fact I just hope she doesn't have that..I don't want to go back to that time right now but fingers crossed it is something else. Or something that will heal more easily. I skyped with Samantha though our video never works right but it's closer to having someone in my apartment. We talked for a long time and that's always wonderful. We discussed being honest as friends not just like honest with each other but honest about how we feel and who we are. There is not point to pussy foot around how you feel, it's how you feel damnit and it demands to be felt. So feel it. Phew. I'm exhausted honestly. I'm also getting tired through the internship. Steam is running a little low and like I put in one of my first posts, "the internship is going to be harder than any year in college you have faced thus far." Check. Okay okay I know readers you get it, it's hard. I'm just tired and taking it out on this blog which is not the best but whatever. I'm done for tonight. I look forward to running more and more. I look forward to being done with this internship. I look forward to actually having a job. I look forward to what I'm fighting for. Can we dance? -J