Oh dear. It's 4:33 am I had to wake up and pee which I think I held it too long because my bladder hurts. I feel very cold and achy at this hour but i grabbed another blanket, I think I'll try calling my dad soon because he's driving home today and usually drives at odd hours in the morning. I really don't know how he does it. Though if today were a normal day (i.e. if I had not gotten my appendix out) I would just be getting up and getting ready to leave for the VA hospital. ---- I actually wrote a lot more this morning but upon re-reading it not a sentence of it made sense. The fever then and feeling tired got to me. The low grade fever and now sore throat, sore tummy, sore everything is getting to me. I am achy I am hot and then freezing, I'm pooping though and I don't care if you don't care about that because I care about that! It's a very good sign because if I hadn't by now that would be a bad sign in terms of the healing process goes for an appendectomy. I'm still trying to take very deep breaths. They had me use a breathing tool and you can ask Rachell how I never reached my goal inhalation marker :/ sadly. It's because they don't want you to get pneumonia but I'm not going to get pneumonia. I'm going to go make myself some more chicken broth and hot apple cider and hot tea and curl up and put on a movie. I got inspired a little today about a new hobby but I'm not ready to share it. I promise you'll hear eventually but honestly for now I need to rest. I mentioned I like guests :) but if you're going to visit you may want to call seeing as I slept randomly and without warning throughout the entire day today. Again, I must say how blessed I am and how thankful I am for the great people in my life who are constantly checking in on me, who talk with me all day (Rachell and I worked her shift basically together!), who listen to me whine about feeling like poo, who are drawing / painting me things, who are sending me thoughts of healing etc, I really wanted to get off of the vicodin today but that's not going to happen and since I took it about 20 minutes ago I'm starting to have a harder time typing and putting thoughts together. I keep taking my temperature to make sure it doesn't get any higher and I did I mention I am also thankful for having a nurse sister too? I called her to talk about my new symptoms and she calmed me down about it which is nice. My sisters are incredible. They mean the world to me and I am so lucky how they drop what they're doing to talk to me or don't even ask questions and Kelsey went home to watch the house/dogs while my mom came up here. My dad talked to me a lot today while he was driving home just to hear my voice and my mom and I practically lived together these last few days as she is constantly checking on me too. All in all I have a great BOEHME family, amazing friends who are like family, a cat that even though she's ill she's comforting me....thank you everyone. Your support is helping me in ways that you can't understand. It's been a long hall for me lately and I could give up and throw in the towel and throw up my white flag but why would I do that? Why wouldn't I fight on? Remember how i mentioned running a half marathon in November? Like hell is that going to happen now. No running for at least two weeks and no strenuous exercise. It's incredible how quickly something you really want can be shot down but you cannot let yourself stay knocked down. As Rocky Balboa say's, "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very rough, mean place... and no matter how tough you think you are, it'll always bring you to your knees and keep you there, permanently... if you let it. You or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit... it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. If you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit." Rocky is right I have been taking hits left and right, I mean for god sakes this is my 5th surgery in under two years and I'm tired of it guys, I really am. But I refuse to stay down. I may need to stay down on this couch for a little while longer but I refuse to wilt away. So, do me a favor and be strong yourselves. We're all so busy, we all have so many things going on in our lives but please try and take a moment to be thankful for what you have, be extra kind to people even when you don't know how, and do things for yourself and others. Just be a good person, the rest will fall into place. Did any of that post make sense? I'm a rambler when I'm on drugs apparently. One time Becky recorded a video of me after I nearly broke my nose and while I won't say what was on that video, I miss that time when my friends gathered around me. I still have them but currently it's just me and my cat who are physically here. Don't be afraid to reach and don't be afraid to try and help and don't be afraid of what knocks you down, just fight back and keep getting stronger. I'm seriously rambling outtta control right now folks, time to grab my hot tea and movie. Keep faith. v>
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