Ch8:Pg8: I can't make the sun shine.

What day is it? Oh it's Wednesday. Today was a looooonnnnnggg day. I could have slept in because I didn't have to go to my rotation today but instead needed to complete many tasks in the morning and go to Saginaw for class with the other interns. Finally got to see my girl Aby and eat Qdoba with her and then we sat in the Saginaw center from 12:00 till about 7:00. It was a long day. Luckily I got a paper mostly done that I'm going to finish up here but here's where I'm going today with this post. "No one comes close to you, Jessi." I received this from Kenzie Guest last night and saw it this morning in a facebook message. Kaiti Blundy wrote me today letting me know that she was going to vote for me as "Most likely to live in larzy forever" because my spirit is still there. These two things have moved me to tears and really made me smile and cry at the same time. Happy tears, readers. I've written about my time as an RA and I've said before that it has been part of me that will live on forever. I will always be an "RA" and to be reminded of impacts I've made in people's lives or having my spirit and energy live on in a place that I've had to move away from is so wonderful. It truly gives me peace in my heart that despite hardships experienced especially during that final RA year, I was still the RA I always meant to be. I still tried to bring sun shine when there was a lot of rain. It's what I've always tried to do. I remember writing earlier in the start of the internship about how I felt like a cloud loomed around me from time to time. The cloud was a storm I got caught in and felt like it would never subside. I'm not saying clouds still don't follow me like they do everyone else but I have found a small peace in creating my own sun and choosing to keep living in a certain way because it is who I am. What the hell does that mean? I'm still fighting, I'm still there for people, I was and will always be the RA I sought out to be, I will always love to love and the clouds might follow me and there are storms I haven't been able to weather but that's life. It's beautiful. I can't make the sun shine, but I promised to try. -J