I will do my very best to describe everything that happened with the half-marathon. I'm still riding the extreme rollar coaster of emotions from it all and it is a hell of a ride.
5:45 A.M. - Eyes shoot open with the alarm clocks going off and I feel like I didn't sleep the whole night but I'm extremely jittery and wide awake. Kelsey said, "Ready to get ready?" "UH. Yes."
6:15 A.M. - Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Please for the love of pete let me poop this morning so I don't have to go during the run.
6:35 A.M. - (Approximately). To Kelsey, "I POOPED!" I was pretty stoked about this and now I was feeling pretty stellar. I ate a banana covered in peanut butter and jame wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla.
6:40 A.M. - I have to pee. I need more water. Maybe I'll drink some gatorade. I have to pee again.
6:50 A.M. - We get in the car and THEE perfect song came on the radio, "Just Give Me a Reason," Kelsey and I belted it out and parked in a GVSU lot and headed / skipped / nervously speed walked over to the bag check in.
7:00 A.M. - I have to pee. There's a lot of women here! This is great!
7:15 A.M. - Is it really snowing / raining right now? Glad I brought my gloves.
7:30 A.M. - Pictures! Hugging! Jumping! Kelsey, "Do not sprain your ankle right now." Cease Jumping.
7:35 A.M. - I have to pee again. Thank goodness for very clean and a large number of port-a-potties.
7:40 A.M. - I need to pee one more time.
7:45-50 A.M. - Line up! Kels and I walked to where her friend Michelle was pacing at the 10:30 pace and towards the :50 time slot I moved up to the 10:00 minute pacer group. Kelsey headed forward and my body started doing funny things as the adrenaline started pumping. I put my head phones in. I heard a lot of cheering and watched the clock.
7:59 A.M. - It'll be over in two hours. You can do this. You've done it. I wrote on facebook, "Stay with me." Please just stay came into my mind and I said it repeatedly.
8:00 A.M. - Hit play and stay with the pacers. My music was loud and I did start the race with U2 Beautiful Day. I started the race with my mom and my grin was unfrownable.
8:10 A.M. - Mile one..Woo! This isn't so bad at all!
8:12 A.M. - It's hailing. It's cutting my face. Ouch. Fuck it! The edge, the edge, the edge. I pump my fist into the air. Bring it weather.
Miles 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 went well. Those who were with me through song got me through the first half and then we circled a baseball field and I knew we were half way through, well almost.
Mile 7 - Okay, glad I have my ClifShot Blocks. I just swallowed half of one whole though. Oh god no choking allowed. Is the pace group speeding up? I'm going to stay here.
Mile 8 - My energy is back up thank you carbohydrates and water stations.
Mile 9 - I have to pee. Just four .1 miles to go...
Mile 10, 11 - Whoever was with me during these miles pushed me to not stop. I was close, I was staying at a very even pace, my heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest. No frowning.
Mile 12 - Oh I am out of this pace group. I sped forward knowing I had 1.1 miles left of this beast and I was going to finish with a bang. I sped up while my personal pick song came on, "Shots." Then my final song "Iris" came into play and I knew it was time to sprint. I started picking up more and more speed.
Mile 13 marker - FULL SPEED AHEAD. I blew past other runners and could hear people cheering around me. The finish line is right there I went faster and faster. I got the runner's high and my body went numb as I cried, put my hands in the air and crossed the line that meant my race was all over. I started having (I'm not kidding) an out of body experience and suddenly the accumulation of everything I've been working for came to a halt and I looked up at the finish line and smiled.
13.1 Miles - I did it. The songs I listened to throughout this run carried me through. Each time my mind drifted towards, slow down or no one said you had to run this fast kind of thoughts...I thought of who was with me in that moment and it gave me fight. It gave me desire to not quit, not once. This journey I started on December 31st has changed me in so many ways. I couldn't believe everything I trained for all of the work I put in was over in 2 hours 10 minutes and 1 second (My time). I ran at a 9:55 minute pace and beat any goal I had for this race. The race honoring women, the 40th anniversary of Title IX and Gazelle Sport's commitment to making West Michigan the nation's healthiest region was over now and I a changed and better woman because of it. It saved me in so many ways. This internship and this year and 2012 and life and moving and every change that's been happening has tried to knock me to my knees. Every time I hit the ground and ducked from incoming baggage or fears, doubts, worries and stresses just reminded me that I had to live. I had to move to live on in ways and through times I didn't know how to navigate. That's the beauty of my navigating. You don't always know where you're going, but when you get to certain places you know you were going the right way the whole time. Stay with me, this one's not over yet. -J.
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