There's been a gap in between my posts as of late. There are a couple of reasons for that and they're quite simple and extremely convoluted at the same time. I've been trying to focus on studying and it's getting harder as I'm in the biochemistry section and that never really was my strong suit. I've been packing and moving things out of my apartment and while I filled my car to the max today there is still a large load of mostly furniture to take home. That's WITH cutting my items not necessarily in half but I have made more goodwill donations in the last few weeks than I have in a long time. It feels good to get rid of things that I just don't need and old papers and garbage that's weighing my life down.
yes, yes. It sounds SOO dramatic but whatever. I felt like I was suffocating a bit and sometimes I still feel like all of my old binders and note cards are going to creep up and smother me, but for now they seem to be safely locked up in old dresser drawers. Guess I really need to have a big bonfire in the near future.
Hyperbole and a half came back recently. Her new post that I keep seeing links to on Facebook brought me to tears and it would have brought me to my knees had I been standing. Mind you, I've mentioned before that I'm a crier but this post really hit spots that I didn't know I still had sticking out ready for arrows. She writes so charismatically and with such honesty and humor that it's hard to describe all of the feelings the post gave me. I don't know what a "reply" would be because there are many people commenting on her newest (and quite hilariously sad) post...and I'm left without words. I don't want to say and I know exactly why it's just hard to express.
I talk about fighting, having hope, finding peace...do I ever specifically say why? Not really. Or does there have to be a why? Definitely not. Quite honestly a lot of the time I don't know what I'm writing about or I don't know how to express feelings and so I try write and sometimes something awesome comes out and sometimes I look back on these little posts and think, "blah." It's weird that I can't express feelings or thoughts here clearly all the time because I can be a huge external processor, I'm doing it now. Other times, I'm an extreme introvert and most people go pfft, no you're not. I guess they don't think I am and I'm never trying to hide it but there has been some real satisfaction, safety and peace from living in my own apartment. Always having my own space to go back to and feel calm or act crazy to feel calm.
Again, external processing. Sometimes it's not my favorite quality about myself but I'm not about changing my qualities. I'm also happy to announce that a larger portion of why I've neglected writing in this blog as of late is because I am hitting the ground running with my upcoming blog....nope not telling you the title but I really think it's going to go somewhere. I'm going to make it go somewhere. I promise in that blog, however, most of the posts will be much shorter as this has been much more of a ramble blog. I'll call it a blamble. That's it. It's my blamble and if you've taken the time to read all of this you must like my blambling. At least enough to read through.
I loved (here I go changing subjects, yeesh) the part of Hyperbole's post about trying to make your face look appropriate to the conversation. I've experienced this too many times and sometimes my own attempts make me shake my head later and think what the hell?
Anywho. This post is now getting to my length where I'm thinking...much, much too long (though I think I hit that mark some 500 words ago). I like the Hyperbole (Allie) is giving people such an intimate look at her life and it's truly only a small nut of it. I don't know where to write from here. Like I said, I don't have words but when I find them...I'll take that juice and I'll lay them out. Until the glass is full, J.
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